The New Do!

Okay so the control freak that I am decided that I needed to decide when and how I was losing my hair, since everyone assures me it's going to happen.  So I booked a great friend (Jenna) who's also a stylist and invited some friends over to share in the festivities.   I bought 2 bottles of funky hair color (Raspberry Kamikaze and Purple Passion).  I told Jenna to have some fun and do whatever cut she was dying to try but no one has asked her to do.  The result was first a really cute hair style I might consider when the hair comes back in, and the rest was just a lot of good times with some great friends.  Here are the before, during and after pictures.  I will probably keep my "hawk" for a couple days and then I'll shave it all even soon.

The Before

My Cute Short Hair Cut

She's brought out the clippers!!

Half Buzzed - Half Cut

We were going for the 80's comb over

The front is normal but the back is all shaved

My Raspberry Kamikaze Mohawk

Adding the Purple Passion to the sides

Rinsing out the hair dye

The final look

Rockin' It Out!

1st Round Complete

So the first day of Chemotherapy was honestly very uneventful.  Showed up on time, a little early actually and had my blood work done.  SOOO easy with the port, especially since they already left the access needle in during the surgery.  Waited a bit for the doctor, but she had a few reminders and questions for me then we headed over to chemo.  There was a LOT of waiting involved in the chemo area, they have a very laid back approach, which is a good thing, because it keeps everything calm, but for someone like me who can be a bit impatient at times I just wanted to say GET A MOVE ON!! :)  They gave me 2 oral anti nausea meds that are used a preventative, and then I elected to join a small study OSU is doing on the 3rd drug, they have one pill they typically use but are studying another drug that is actually given via IV before chemo that stays in the body longer.  I actually received this new IV drug.  They have to wait about a half hour after those drugs are administered before starting chemo, so my official start of chemo wasn't until about noon.  We were even encouraged to eat something from the cafeteria downstairs while we waited.  I had a yummy morning star farms veggie burger!

During the first treatment they administer the drugs separately in case you have a reaction to one, they know which one it is.  The Adromycin the nurse sits next to you and pushes via IV like 2ml every couple of minutes, so she uses this time to go over some stuff in your packet of info they send you home with.  Once that syringe is in and you don't seem to be having a reaction they'll start the hour long IV drip of the cytoxen and then they'll administer the 2nd syringe of A at the same time.  We finished off with a how to do a SubQ injection for the Neulasta.  I got to the point of actually sticking the test needle (saline solution) in my belly and I hesitated.  I didn't think that was going to be difficult, so Brian bless his heart jumped right in and did the practice injection for me.  He's going to be the one to do them for me from now on.

My only complaint is between the nerves, the like 30+oz of liquid I drank and the saline drip I could NOT stop peeing.  There is a cute picture of myself below that Brian snapped of me returning from the bathroom pushing my little IV pole along!!

We finished up and said goodbye to everyone and left around 3ish.  Around 4:30 as I was heading over to the hotel to meet up with Brian I started feeling a little nausea, nothing bad but I could tell it was there.  I took one of the rescue meds for anti nausea and Brian brought me room service of 6 different crackers, soup, hummus, pita bread, carrots, celery, and cucumbers.  I was able to munch on stuff and do okay I just didn't really have an appetite for anything, which stinks cause they have really good food here!! :)  I finished out the night with a small box of cheerios and rice krispie cereal!!

This am I was able to eat a good sized breakfast of Belgian waffles, strawberries and blueberries, and hash browns with cranberry juice.  I ran a couple errands but was BUSHED so I ended up taking  a bit of a nap this afternoon.  I'm hoping we'll go down to the restaurant for dinner here soon, I'm feeling a little hungry and hope I will be able to enjoy something there!

Brian and I waiting to see the Doc

 Hooked up to Saline IV and Anti- Nausea meds are in

Returning for an upteenth trip to the potty!

My room service dinner!

Chemo Day

Feeling quite a bit nervous...

Dressed and sitting down to some breakfast then it's on the road we go.

I need lots of prayers and good thoughts today!!

Port Is In!

So we showed up at the hospital at 6 am, and was easily registered.  My only complaint has been that for whatever reason my records still indicate that I am on OSU's student health insurance.  I've given everyone my current insurance information but for some reason my records haven't been updated!!  We went up to the pre-op area where they had me change into a gown and they wanted to start an IV and draw blood for some pre-op tests.  For those of you that know me, I don't care much for needles/blood draws, and have a history of passing out after giving blood. Well she got the IV in no problem, but because of some valve in there, she was NOT able to draw any blood from that site, so that meant a 2nd prick to draw the blood needed.  This one made me light headed and uncomfortable.  Well about 10 minutes later she comes back to tell me that they need more blood for an update of my blood count because of my zolodex injection last week.  So here comes poke #3.  She evidently got it in no problem, but then the needle must have gone out the other side of the vein because it stopped flowing and she did NOT get enough blood.  Are you kidding me? You have to do it AGAIN?  So she got another nurse to come in and try, this went smoothly and they finally had everything they needed.

We were taken down to the pre-op area just outside the operating room where we waited what felt like FOREVER!  Because of the tissue expanders already in, the doctor needed to come decide where he was going to put the port in so as to not disturb the expanders, and so we were waiting on him.  Once I was taken in to the OR everyone was great, I was sedated but wide awake.  No I couldn't see anything, they had a drape over my chest and face area.  The procedure went very quickly.  They left an access needle in the port for my chemo tomorrow since I was already numb.  They will take that out after the chemo tomorrow, and all that will be left will be underneath the skin.  The took me into the post op/recovery area where they told me I was definitely wide awake and wouldn't need to be there very long.  They just needed to wait for a room for me upstairs where I started in Pre/Post Op.  Once I was taken upstairs and settled I was able to eat a turkey sandwich with pretzels.  I sat up there about an hour where they did a couple rounds of vitals, and then had me go to the bathroom.  I was able to go home about 12.

I am currently home and settled back into the recliner.  Unfortunately I'm on strict orders to do absolutely NOTHING today so Brian did not go into work like he had planned.  I am also not able to get the incision area wet for the next week :(  That means limited showers, which wouldn't be so bad if I weren't covered on the right side of my neck and shoulder in iodine..I hate that smell!!  Driving is definitely out of the question as my range of motion in my neck is somewhat limited.

And now I just need to wait for chemo tomorrow..

T-1 day

So tomorrow I go in for my port surgery.  Ironically enough while googling more information on what to expect I came across another blogger writing about her battle with breast cancer at the age of 36.  I now have a new friend in Vancouver Canada.  While I enjoyed reading her blog and seeing some similarities with what I have gone through it was also a little overwhelming to see what's in store for me.  I will be giving myself a Neulasta injection the day following chemo in order to boost my cells.  From what I've heard the main side effect of this injection is PAIN.  Muscle pain, join pain, bone pain.  Not really looking forward to that part.  I'm praying that I only have to do it during the AC treatments and not during the Taxol treatments as well.  I can do anything for 2 months right?!

Tomorrow I have to be at OSU at 6 am for an 8:15 procedure.  I will try and update my blog and/or facebook as soon as I'm able so that everyone knows how I am doing.  If not I will have Brian update as he did earlier while recovering from my mastectomy surgery.  I'm hoping I feel up to going to the grocery store tomorrow evening..maybe I can talk Brian into letting me have some Menchie's too :)

Friday we will start off at OSU at 8:15 and it's expected we will be there for a good couple of hours while I have my blood work done, I meet with the doctor to go over the blood work and then 2 different drugs have to be administered separately.  It is also my understanding that they will be doing a lot of educating while the process is going on, and they also have to show me how to self inject for the Neulasta.  I expect to be at the hospital for the majority of the day.  Brian is MOD this weekend so the plan is for me to go stay at the hotel with him so I can relax while he works.  I just hope I'm up for the yummy food that is usually had there!!  Again I will try and update my blog and or facebook as soon as I am able to following chemo on Friday.

Please say a prayer for me these next couple of days, I can use all the help I can get!!

Posting Comments - Tutorial

I know many of you have expressed difficulty in posting comments...I stole this tutorial from another blogger.  I hope this helps!!  I would love to have comments and feedback from people that are following and reading my blog.  Especially now that things are about to get tougher!

So, here's a small tutorial for those non- bloggers who wish to leave a comment at some point.

Go to the bottom of the post. On the bottom, towards the right side there is the word 'comments' sometimes with a number in front of it. That just means that's how many people commented before you. If you click on it it will open another window.

It will show you everyone else's comments there.

You can take the time and read them or just scroll down.

When you get to the bottom of the page, you'll see a white box "Post comments here"

- i think it says.

Then you type your comment in the white box, and go to the drop down menu where it says 'post as' - and choose 'annonymous' - then click on 'post comment'. A small tip, because you are choosing annonymous (that is because you don't have a blog of your own, and it's the easiest way to comment) please be sure to leave your name at the bottom.

And The Fun Begins

So I am OFFICIALLY on summer vacation....FINALLY!!!  It was a rough ending to the year but I'm very happy I was able to get through it.  To see all the tears (all the parents) at graduation last night, and being soo proud myself of the 12 kiddos that are leaving us to go on to Kindergarten made pushing myself to go back when I did more worthwhile.  And while I'd love to say I'm looking forward to the next 6 weeks off I know that they are going to FLY by...

Next week (Tuesday) I have my usual appointment with my orthodontist, I am trying to stay on track with those appointments because it is getting me that much closer to having them off.  It was originally predicted 18 months of treatment and we are now officially in 22 months of treatment.  The next "expected" date of being done is the end of the summer.  I discussed some concern with one of the oncology nurses this week about the possibility of mouth sores as a side effect of chemo and she said there were things they can do from the beginning to try and keep that from happening which makes me feel better.  Dr. B offered to take them off for me until I recovered from all the cancer stuff and then putting them back on to finish my teeth treatment, but I want to try and see this through to the end if at all possible.

Wednesday I have to have an EKG done on my heart.  One of the side effects of this particular chemo is cardiovascular damage.  They need to get a baseline of my heart and make sure there aren't already heart issues before starting the chemo.  Then they will monitor for changes from the chemo.

Thursday I will have outpatient surgery to have the port placed.  I've decided to have the port placed so they don't have to find a vein every time that they go to administer chemo.  Plus with the toxicity of the AC it is safer this way, bad things could happen if I blew a vein and it leaked out.  I'm semi nervous about the surgery, I know it's routine, but for someone who's had nothing more than wisdom teeth removal on her surgery card having to go through 2 surgeries in 3 months is A LOT.

Friday morning I start chemo.  I had to go to OSU's breast clinic on Wednesday to receive my Zolodex injection, and since there was some wait time involved the nurse was great at answering my questions and trying to give me an idea of how Friday is going to go.  They spend a lot of team teaching and talking to you throughout the process so we will spend probably a good 4-5 hours there, even though they say the treatments run about 2 hours total.  I'm nervous about starting chemo, but only because it affects EVERYONE differently and I just want to know what to expect.  Brian is scheduled to work the entire weekend for his MOD shift so I hope that I will be able to hang out there with him.  Those weekends have typically been very relaxing for me.  I tend to lay around reading, watching TV, or working on small projects....I get to eat lots of yummy foods and sometimes even get to take a nice soaking bath!

If all of this isn't crazy enough I've decided to give up my apartment.  Brian and I had already discussed plans to move back in together when our leases were up (October/November) but he's been living with me here since just before my surgery and I think financially it is silly for us to continue to maintain 2 separate spaces when we are already living together in 1.  It seems like an expensive storage unit.  I talked to the rental office about whether or not I can break my lease early (as they don't have that option built in to their lease) and they said under the circumstances that shouldn't be a problem.  I need to seek final approval from the property manager and may be out some money, but not as much as it would cost us to pay rent for the remainder of the time.  So with everything else going on, Brian and I are going to go through both places and weed out things we absolutely don't need anymore, and then after putting what is needed at his house I will moving the rest into storage.  I know this seems like a huge undertaking at this point, but I'd rather work on it now at the start of treatment, especially since they tell me that the treatments will build on each other, so I may not be tired this time, but will start to feel it more  with treatment #2 and could be just exhausted by treatment #4.  Besides it's summer and I have access to more people to help NOW than I will in November when I really do have to get out of the apartment.  And I am blessed that my friend & coworker Barb has offered to help me with the task of weeding through and packing up my place.  If I get to a point that I am not able to physically do it, she's willing to do the labor while I let her know what to do with the stuff.  I am optimistic that this chapter will work out for the best.

I know many people have offered to help in anyway they can through this whole process.  I have been so grateful for the things done so far, but once we know how I will respond to the treatments then I can get a better idea of how I can be helped.  So I will be calling on many of you who have offered to help when I don't have the energy to do everything myself.

In the meantime I am trying to plan and partake in some fun things while I know I'm still feeling up to it! Tomorrow I get to go dress shopping with a friend of mine who is getting married!  And I'm also going to Dayton to see a local band play and hang out with the girls there!

The Chemo Decision

So after a dreadful experience with oncologist number 1, we decided to seek not only a 2nd but also a 3rd opinion.  This week gave us an opportunity to meet back to back with the new oncologists.

Tuesday we met with oncologist #2.  I IMMEDIATELY felt comfortable with this doctor.  He walked in and said, while I've read your chart, I want to hear about things in your words.  I asked him where should I start, and he said the beginning.  He was very much about spending this appointment talking about options, questions and concerns we might have.  He explained to us WHY chemo was necessary, which made sense as soon as he took the time to do so.  Evidently when a breast cancer tumor forms it circulates cells through your body through either the lymphatic system as well as the blood.  We know that it wasn't traveling in my lymphatic system since my lymph nodes were negative.  However until the tumor was removed, we have no way of knowing what any of those cells were doing in my blood.  There is no way to tell if some cells broke out and attached themselves somewhere else in my body.  The chemotherapy will hopefully eliminate any of these cells from developing into tumors.  He made a suggestion of a new chemotherapy regiment (TC) that is less toxic than previously used (AC).  He suggested just 4 rounds lasting 3 months, and felt confident that I would tolerate it well and should be able to continue to work through the chemo treatment.  He then said we would follow up with the 5 years of tamoxofin, but said we could talk more about hormone therapy later.  We made appointments to see the nurse practitioner and then scheduled the first round of chemo.  While I've been afraid of having to go through chemo, I felt more comfortable with it after this appointment.  We decided to go ahead and keep the appointment scheduled for Wednesday.

Wednesday we met with oncologist #3.  We were first introduced to the doctor's fellow.  He spent time explaining the desired regiment for chemo which is what oncologist #1 suggested.  They want 4 rounds of AC every 3 weeks followed by taxol every week for 12 weeks.  Total time in therapy would be 24 weeks (6 months).  This would be followed by the 5 years of tamoxofin.  In our conversations with the fellow I expressed concern for the length of time in treatment and we expressed our concerns with fertility.  He left to discuss the case with the doctor who then came in to talk to us.  She said another option with the chemo would be to do dose density therapy, where I would have my treatments every 2 weeks, but I would need to receive an injection of Neulasta, which is a growth factor injection.  It would help boost my bone marrow back up after the chemo attacked the cells.  As far as addressing the fertility issue, she suggested injecting me with Zolodex which would put my ovaries to sleep in a sense, but should provide a barrier around my ovaries during the chemotherapy.  After chemo she said I would have to take the Tamoxofin for 2 years (effective time) at which time they would allow me to stop taking the Tamoxofin and give us a 6-9 month window to get pregnant before I would need to finish the remaining 3 years of Tamoxofin.  Because of the toxicity of the AC treatment, my best option is to have a port put in to allow for easy access for the nurses administering the chemo drugs.  Thankfully it's an outpatient surgery but one that will still require a good 4-5 hours at the hospital for monitoring.

After many tears and a lot of time spent in thought and talking things over with Brian I've made a decision as to which treatment I'm going to undergo.  Which the thought of taking the easy way out and having a much milder and shorter time with TC I am going to go with oncologist #3 and go for the more aggressive treatment.  I only have 1 shot to get this right, and we both think that the aggressive chemo will give me the best chances of not having to deal with this again.  Plus I like that oncologist gave me an option for having a child rather than just barking "freeze your eggs" when expressing my dire to have children.  I know I have a very rough battle ahead of me, but I know with the support of my family and friends that I will be able to someday put all this behind me.