I've been in positions in my life where I've had to make important decisions. But nothing can compare to the decision I'm faced with making at this point. I know what my gut is telling me to do, which is to have the bilateral mastectomies, but that feels like such a large pill to swallow at times. I just want to do everything I can to not have to go through this again. Right now the thought of going through Chemo and being really sick worries me. I think I can manage the pain after the surgery, but I'm preparing for a long recovery period. They anticipate I'll be recovering for 4 to 6 weeks. I know everyone is anxious to help but that will definitely be needed once I'm home recovering as I will not be able to do any lifting, so daily living like cooking, groceries and laundry will not be activities I will be able to do.
Mostly what I'm waiting for is the results of the genetic test. I think I need to see the positive BRCA gene to solidify my decision to take a radical surgical approach. Surgery is scheduled in 2 weeks, which I know is crazy fast, but I have 2 weeks off that I can spend recovering and not have to use any sick time, so I need to take full advantage of that possibility.
I have 2 more doctor's appointments next week to meet with other members of the team who will be in charge of me for the next couple of weeks. And then it's just preparing myself for putting my body through the surgery.
I am currently reading Pretty is What Changes by Jessica Queller. She is a writer from the show Gilmore Girls and this book is about the decisions she makes about her life after her mother dies of Breast Cancer and she herself tests positive for BRCA. I am also armed with the huge textbook like thing the doctor gave me yesterday and several other books I took out from the library yesterday. Guess I should probably wrap this up and get to some of that reading!!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Doctor's Appointment
I know everyone is anxious to hear how my appointments went today. I was able to get an appointment with Genetic Counseling this am before my Doctor's Appointment. Had blood drawn and will know the results, whether or not I'm positive for the BRCA-1 Gene, within 2 weeks.
The meeting with the doctor was VERY overwhelming, even Margaret agreed. But also very informative. He gave me lots of information about the cancer that I have, the treatments and surgeries that we can do to fight it, and other resources to help guide me in this decision and his process.
Right now I need time to take everything in and make the best decision for me in how I want to fight this. While I know that everyone loves and cares about me, right now I need everyone to hold off on sharing opinions on what it is I should do. I've been overloaded with enough information right now and really don't want to think about anything else on top of it. I guarantee I will not come to my decision lightly, but ultimately I'm the only one that can make the decision, because I have to live with it.
The meeting with the doctor was VERY overwhelming, even Margaret agreed. But also very informative. He gave me lots of information about the cancer that I have, the treatments and surgeries that we can do to fight it, and other resources to help guide me in this decision and his process.
Right now I need time to take everything in and make the best decision for me in how I want to fight this. While I know that everyone loves and cares about me, right now I need everyone to hold off on sharing opinions on what it is I should do. I've been overloaded with enough information right now and really don't want to think about anything else on top of it. I guarantee I will not come to my decision lightly, but ultimately I'm the only one that can make the decision, because I have to live with it.
Monday, March 28, 2011
The MRI
Today has been probably the longest day since getting the news. I had trouble falling asleep last night because I just couldn't turn my brain off, and it's not like I was even worried about the MRI today, but just thinking about a lot of different stuff. So needless to say the 5:15 alarm clock was the last thing I wanted to hear! Went to the hospital and had some blood work done and then spend about an hour in an MRI machine, which honestly wasn't bad, except I was laying on my stomach and that started to get rather uncomfortable.
The doctor called me this afternoon after looking at the MRI results and said that it was good news (if you can say that when talking about cancer!). It is only the small mass that we know about that seems to be affected, there is nothing in the right breast and it doesn't appear to be in the lymph nodes, and it's small, so again he says this is all good news. We had a brief discussion about surgery. He meets with a panel of different specialized doctors tomorrow to talk about my case. He said the chances of me getting the disease again in the next 20 years is 10-15% and that's not factoring in the genetics. I will be going through the genetic testing for sure, and he said that should take no more than 2 weeks to get the results back for that. Because of the risk factors, he's pretty sure the team will recommend a double mastectomy. But again I will discuss this further when I meet with him on Wednesday.
I worked out tonight, and aside from some bouncing it felt good, I want to get in as much as I can before I have to take the time off for the surgery. Tonight I think I'm content to lounge on the couch with not much on the agenda!
The doctor called me this afternoon after looking at the MRI results and said that it was good news (if you can say that when talking about cancer!). It is only the small mass that we know about that seems to be affected, there is nothing in the right breast and it doesn't appear to be in the lymph nodes, and it's small, so again he says this is all good news. We had a brief discussion about surgery. He meets with a panel of different specialized doctors tomorrow to talk about my case. He said the chances of me getting the disease again in the next 20 years is 10-15% and that's not factoring in the genetics. I will be going through the genetic testing for sure, and he said that should take no more than 2 weeks to get the results back for that. Because of the risk factors, he's pretty sure the team will recommend a double mastectomy. But again I will discuss this further when I meet with him on Wednesday.
I worked out tonight, and aside from some bouncing it felt good, I want to get in as much as I can before I have to take the time off for the surgery. Tonight I think I'm content to lounge on the couch with not much on the agenda!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
The Diagnosis
Okay so a good friend of mine suggested that creating a blog might be a good way to let the masses know about what's going on with me through this journey I have been asked to take. I know in the days of media it is much more impersonal to use email and texts to communicate, and I really wish that I could call each and every one of you and tell you the details but that just isn't going to be practical. So I'm hoping this will help with that.
I am now just over a week into this next chapter of my life. Wednesday March 16th, 2011 I found a small lump in my left breast. I contacted my doctor's office on Thursday to make an appointment. Friday morning at 8:15 I met with my doctor who then referred me to Women's Imaging at Doctor's West Hospital so that I could have a mammogram and ultrasound to see just what was in my breast. I thought the decision to do so was more for piece of mind due to the family history I have regarding breast cancer and the gene that is in the paternal side of the family. I was squeezed in at Women's Imaging and by 10:30 I was told that the radiologist would need to talk to my doctor and determine what the next step would be, they might just monitor it for awhile or they might decide to biopsy it. By 11:00 I was given an appointment on Monday morning to meet with a breast surgeon who more than likely would do a biopsy. Again they made it seem like this was just a precaution to rule out the breast cancer for piece of mind, but needed to make sure because of family history. I was told it looked like a fibroadenoma which is a common benign tumor in women in their 20's and 30's. Monday March 21st I had a biopsy performed on the 3/4" lump that was in my left breast. That was not a pleasant experience, but I did okay right until the end when he was applying bandages, and then of course I thought I was going to pass out! He assured me that the lump didn't appear to be cancerous, and again we were performing the tests just to be on the safe side. At 5:00 on Thursday evening I received the call from the doctor who had told me he would call me either way to let me know my pathology report. Unfortunately I knew before the words came out of his mouth that the test came back cancer.
I will be having an MRI performed on Monday am along with blood work to determine what we are dealing with, and then back to the Doc on Wednesday to discuss results and game plan.
I'm not going to lie and tell people I'm not scared to death. This isn't a little thing, this is something that kills women every day. However I am bound and determined to fight this with all that I have. I am very appreciative of everyone's well wishes. I know that I'm going to need to support of everyone in order to make it through this very difficult time in my life. I may not be able to thank everyone appropriately, but please know I really am relieved to know that I have so many people on my side pulling for me.
I just finished celebrating my 32nd birthday. Thanks to all the friends that made the night fun, I was able to take my mind off of things for a little while. I pray that I will be enjoying my 33rd birthday this time next year!
I don't know how often I will make posts to my blog, but I will post new updates after tests and doctor's appointments, and will try and post some thoughts and feelings to go with those as well.
Thanks again everyone, I know this battle is just beginning but I know that I have what it takes to fight this!
I am now just over a week into this next chapter of my life. Wednesday March 16th, 2011 I found a small lump in my left breast. I contacted my doctor's office on Thursday to make an appointment. Friday morning at 8:15 I met with my doctor who then referred me to Women's Imaging at Doctor's West Hospital so that I could have a mammogram and ultrasound to see just what was in my breast. I thought the decision to do so was more for piece of mind due to the family history I have regarding breast cancer and the gene that is in the paternal side of the family. I was squeezed in at Women's Imaging and by 10:30 I was told that the radiologist would need to talk to my doctor and determine what the next step would be, they might just monitor it for awhile or they might decide to biopsy it. By 11:00 I was given an appointment on Monday morning to meet with a breast surgeon who more than likely would do a biopsy. Again they made it seem like this was just a precaution to rule out the breast cancer for piece of mind, but needed to make sure because of family history. I was told it looked like a fibroadenoma which is a common benign tumor in women in their 20's and 30's. Monday March 21st I had a biopsy performed on the 3/4" lump that was in my left breast. That was not a pleasant experience, but I did okay right until the end when he was applying bandages, and then of course I thought I was going to pass out! He assured me that the lump didn't appear to be cancerous, and again we were performing the tests just to be on the safe side. At 5:00 on Thursday evening I received the call from the doctor who had told me he would call me either way to let me know my pathology report. Unfortunately I knew before the words came out of his mouth that the test came back cancer.
I will be having an MRI performed on Monday am along with blood work to determine what we are dealing with, and then back to the Doc on Wednesday to discuss results and game plan.
I'm not going to lie and tell people I'm not scared to death. This isn't a little thing, this is something that kills women every day. However I am bound and determined to fight this with all that I have. I am very appreciative of everyone's well wishes. I know that I'm going to need to support of everyone in order to make it through this very difficult time in my life. I may not be able to thank everyone appropriately, but please know I really am relieved to know that I have so many people on my side pulling for me.
I just finished celebrating my 32nd birthday. Thanks to all the friends that made the night fun, I was able to take my mind off of things for a little while. I pray that I will be enjoying my 33rd birthday this time next year!
I don't know how often I will make posts to my blog, but I will post new updates after tests and doctor's appointments, and will try and post some thoughts and feelings to go with those as well.
Thanks again everyone, I know this battle is just beginning but I know that I have what it takes to fight this!
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