Major Decisions

I've been in positions in my life where I've had to make important decisions.  But nothing can compare to the decision I'm faced with making at this point.  I know what my gut is telling me to do, which is to have the bilateral mastectomies, but that feels like such a large pill to swallow at times.  I just want to do everything I can to not have to go through this again.  Right now the thought of going through Chemo and being really sick worries me.  I think I can manage the pain after the surgery, but I'm preparing for a long recovery period.  They anticipate I'll be recovering for 4 to 6 weeks.  I know everyone is anxious to help but that will definitely be needed once I'm home recovering as I will not be able to do any lifting, so daily living like cooking, groceries and laundry will not be activities I will be able to do.

Mostly what I'm waiting for is the results of the genetic test.  I think I need to see the positive BRCA gene to solidify my decision to take a radical surgical approach.  Surgery is scheduled in 2 weeks, which I know is crazy fast, but I have 2 weeks off that I can spend recovering and not have to use any sick time, so I need to take full advantage of that possibility.

I have 2 more doctor's appointments next week to meet with other members of the team who will be in charge of me for the next couple of weeks.  And then it's just preparing myself for putting my body through  the surgery.

I am currently reading Pretty is What Changes by Jessica Queller.  She is a writer from the show Gilmore Girls and this book is about the decisions she makes about her life after her mother dies of Breast Cancer and she herself tests positive for BRCA.  I am also armed with the huge textbook like thing the doctor gave me yesterday and several other books I took out from the library yesterday.  Guess I should probably wrap this up and get to some of that reading!!